More Than A Good Discussion
This post is part of an ongoing series reflecting on chapters from Cloud and Townsend’s book Making Small Groups Work. These reflections begin as emails to our Life Group leaders at Calvary and are then adapted for the blog.
Our groups—whether at Calvary or in any church—are often already established, which means we’re not necessarily starting from scratch. But it’s still worth reflecting on the purpose and type of the group you lead. Maybe it started with one idea or purpose and has become something different. This is a good moment to pause and think that through. That’s true whether you’re leading at Calvary or in a completely different church context.
At the end of the day, the goal of a church small group isn’t just a good discussion—it’s people actually growing in Christ together (Colossians 1:28; Ephesians 4:15–16).
Structure and Process in Real Life
In the groups I’ve led, I’ve noticed that the purpose can feel like it shifts from week to week. One week can be very unstructured—people share what’s going on and we pray (James 5:16). Another week, I try to keep us more on-task with our topic.
I’m grateful in this season for a group that likes to talk and naturally engages whatever we’re studying. I do a lot of sitting back and letting people process together. The material gives us structure, but I don’t enforce it heavily—I let the process happen.
I could be more directive if needed, but right now, the group talking to one another seems to be the right fit. Groups can change.
The Balance: Structure and Process
Cloud and Townsend put it well:
“There is no right or wrong. It has more to do with the group’s nature and needs… However, it is true that for a group to be a group, you need some amount of both” (118).
My sense is that many of our groups (at Calvary, in this season) lean toward process—maybe more than we realize. We’re not constantly dealing with crisis, deep loss, or chronic instability that requires heavy structure to keep things safe (121).
But if that changes—and it could, in fact, it might be a healthy thing!—our leadership likely needs to change with it.
When Needs Shift
If someone enters a season of significant pain or need, we may have to ask:
- How do we incorporate this person well?
- Will this shift the dynamic of the group?
- Do we adjust structure—or even start something new?
Those are all valid questions.
At the same time, these are church groups—wherever they’re found. Our goal is real community. So the instinct should be:
How do we help every member become a minister here? (1 Peter 4:10)
There may be seasons where the group focuses more intentionally on one hurting member. That can be deeply formative—for the person in pain and for the group learning to love well (Romans 12:15).
In those moments, we’re discerning:
- Do we emphasize process—space to share and be known? (Galatians 6:2)
- Or do we bring in more structure or content to speak directly to what’s happening?
Every group will answer that differently.
Freedom Within a Shared Aim
I continue to lean toward letting each leader discern what their group needs in their particular context. Some groups are more Bible or book study-based; others are more relationally driven. As Presbyterians, we tend toward structured study, and that’s a good thing (2 Timothy 3:16–17). I’m there too.
But ultimately, these groups are about shepherding people:
“Ultimately the group’s ‘second family’ function is to serve its members’ needs. What spiritual, emotional, personal, or relational needs do you want to see met?” (123).
A Leadership Tension
I don’t always know that I’m facilitating as well as I could. People talk, which is good—but I still wonder whether I’m helping move people toward growth or just letting things happen.
If no one is ever challenged, encouraged toward change, or helped to take a next step, that’s usually a sign we may need to be more intentional (Colossians 3:16; Hebrews 10:24–25).
So the tension remains:
- Do I need to be more directive?
- Do I need to push toward growth more?
That’s probably a question most of us are carrying.
Leaving the Results to God
And even there, we remember—we’re not responsible for producing the fruit (1 Corinthians 3:6–7).
Cloud and Townsend end with this, and it’s worth sitting with:
“Leave the results to God. While designing your small group, it is easy to slip into taking on responsibility for the fruits in its prospective members’ lives. Let that burden rest with the members and God, where it belongs… Your job is to provide a good set of elements that, if used, can cause growth. Love the members, be involved, have good structure and materials, know how to interact on a personal level, and jump in” (124).
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