*This is adapted from a series of emails to Life Group (small group) leaders as we read Cloud and Townsend’s Making Small Groups Work together.
“One of a group’s main tasks is healing.” (98)
This is one of the things I’ve been hinting at—that in our groups there is a unique opportunity to support one another through all sorts of things going on (Galatians 6:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:11). I don’t think anyone will be surprised to hear me say that small groups can function this way, and many have probably experienced that in a group before. But it’s good to remember that Life Groups can—and in many contexts, I dare say even should—take on the role of a supportive family (Ephesians 2:19; Mark 3:35).
Cloud and Townsend continue:
“When an individual brings up an issue, the group will, in a sense, circle around the wounded family member, as you will sometimes see a herd of animals do in the wild. All their attention is focused on the one who is hurt. That is what is needed at this point in time” (98) (Romans 12:15).
As I’ve said several times recently, water is thicker than blood—being the waters of baptism. They unite us more in Christ, far more than being blood relatives ever will. And that pushes back against many of our cultural instincts (Matthew 12:48–50). For someone who comes from an unhealthy family situation, the church can and should—absolutely should—be the surrogate family that provides the healing, emotional, and spiritual experiences needed to recover from family (and other) wounds (Psalm 68:6; Isaiah 61:1–3).
What Should a Life Group Do?
Cloud and Townsend describe four key movements: validate, assess, strengthen to take ownership, and provide emotionally corrective experiences. (Colossians 3:12–17)
1. Validate
This doesn’t mean we say, “Oh, poor little person who got hurt—none of it is your fault.” No. Often we will eventually challenge someone to own their part. But it is good to start with validating what can be validated, because injuries are real, and rarely are things so simple that it is only one side or the other’s fault (James 1:19; Proverbs 18:13).
Cloud and Townsend rightly observe:
“Often the extent to which people heal from injuries is the extent to which others validate the injuries” (99).
2. Assess (Provide Perspective)
As we help someone move forward in healing, we also provide perspective at the right time. We help them “separate injury from symptom” (99).
“While the symptom is quite distressing, it functions as a red flag to the underlying injury. Good groups help the person assess what really causes the pain (Psalm 139:23–24). A member might tell another, ‘I think I’m understanding how bad the depression is, but I want you to talk about what is going on beneath it’” (99).
And, of course, no one person should dominate a group—groups exist for the whole group. But there may be short seasons in which someone becomes a focus, and part of healthy leadership is helping a group navigate that well (1 Peter 5:2–3).
3. Strengthen Toward Ownership
As healing continues, people are also strengthened to take ownership—that is, to avoid slipping into a victim mentality and instead to own what they need to own where their faults are (Galatians 6:5; Matthew 7:3–5).
4. Provide Emotionally (and Spiritually) Corrective Experiences
But I come back to this again and again, because it needs to be said: if Life Groups are functioning as a kind of surrogate family—a second family, a new family in Christ—then the church has an incredible, God-ordained opportunity to provide emotionally (and spiritually) corrective experiences (Romans 8:1; 2 Corinthians 5:17).
“The group becomes a context for the member to engage in experiences that change thinking, heal wounds, and give strength and confidence… Groups use the power that God provides to give people a new life, new ways of relating, and new ways to experience themselves” (100).
In any group with a functioning leader, there will be some kind of relational structure that begins to feel like a family. And within the church, that is not accidental—it is part of what God is doing (Ephesians 4:15–16). The goal is not control or dependency, but growth: helping people become more like Christ and experience His healing so that what is broken is made whole (2 Corinthians 3:18; Revelation 21:5).
May the Holy Spirit give us wisdom and help us in this work (James 1:5; John 14:26).
Share This Article
